 The
question I get again and again from people is: "What have you learned,
John, that helped the most with being able to use NLP the way you do?"
Like many people, I had a yearning for learning what works, "how" to
"do" things more effectively. And this yearning was long before NLP™.
And when I discovered NLP, I, of course, was in awe of the technology.
But as I started reading more and more, I just had to get to a seminar.
So to broaden my knowledge base I did exactly that. When I first
trained with the people I trained with, I learned a lot. I was both
fascinated and thrilled to have such fine teachers. Early in my
training I met Richard Bandler. Before I met him, I was told by many
people, "You're crazy if you go to see him." "He's a mad man." "He's
this." And "He's that . . ." I'm sure you get the picture. I didn't
want to lose the opportunity to see one of the co-founders and so I
went...
When I first saw him in the training, I also noticed that many others
seemed somewhat cautious, yet exhilarated. I found this to be an
interesting combination of states. I noticed immediately that Richard
was able to keep them at the edge of their seats. I also noticed that
before he gave out instructions, he was doing other things that had to
do with the instructions. It did take me a while to notice this, but a
good part of my manufacturing training was in trouble shooting:
backtracking to process control points that had already occurred in
time, and finding out where to make the next change in the process to
correct a mistake that had already been made, and without jeopardizing
the operation, its financial integrity, product quality, etc.
So, when I noticed that Richard was able to help people change as
quickly as he was, I was very curious about that. Now take this and
couple it with my early childhood fascination with language, grammar,
and the structure of language, I started paying attention to how
Richard was doing what he was doing.
At his recommendation, I also trained with others so I could learn
different *styles*. But it wasn't different styles I was learning. I
was also learning that there were two kinds of *trainers* in the field:
The ones who could get the result consistently, and the ones that
couldn't. And as I refined my own observations, I made another
distinction about trainers: there are those that can *do*, and those
that can't. And by *do*, I mean that they can influence people *just by
talking to them*. Isn't that what the basis of NLP was to begin with? I
think the middle name "Linguistic" is there for a reason that many
people have forgotten. I knew about this ability intuitively from a
very young age: that there are people who are just influential by how
they say what they say, and by how they don't say what they don't say
(non verbal communication). Because my focus was, and still is, in the
business arena, I was more impressed by people who could help others
get their own result through exquisite communication (verbally and
nonverbally).
And I also learned that there were all kinds of people *teaching* NLP
that many companies in the U.S. were sadly turned off by it. And this
was mostly the effect of badly taught representations of NLP. Another
realization of mine was that companies aren't (at least in the US)
interested in some new training buzz word, some newfangled something to
make people feel good. They want results and want it yesterday!! So how
to do this?
While training with various trainers in the field, I didn't expect any
of them to be cookie cutter robots of either of the co-founders, but I
did expect some degree of continuity in the basic information, which I
didn't find, except for those who trained personally with Richard and
John in the early days. What I found was that there was so much
information that I had difficulty applying what I was learning a lot of
the time. And so I thought perhaps others were, too. And so I asked
around and found pretty much the same thing.
I wanted some consistency in my own training and so I decided to train
more with Richard, since by that time, Richard and John had gone their
separate ways and I had already become acquainted with Richard. Later,
I listened to audio tapes, watched videos of others, and to this day,
I'm glad I made the decision I made.
After doing a fair amount of training with Richard, I realized that
what was lacking in the field, although it was right there all the
time, was to make an explicit distinction for people learning NLP so
they could use it more fully, more elegantly, and more completely than
they may have been. The distinction I made is so powerful for so many,
that I've called the first part: Pure NLP™. The distinction I made is
simple. The technology has two identifiable parts: Skills and the
Applications of those skills.
Most of whatever is out there are applications of the basic technology.
It seems that people have confused the two together. The phobia cure,
for example, is an application, a technique.
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Some
of the best people out there in the world, those that are most
successful, most effective, may be *using* NLP, that is, the skills.
They are great at anchoring, they are elegant with language, they have
super tonality, etc. They understand how to be influential and
persuasive, and some are the tops at helping others to change without
using *techniques*, or even giving instructions as in a technique.
These are the people who I admire for their skills.
The core essence of the technology is about *experience*, not going
meta to it, not dissociating from it. This just causes more
generalizations of the experience and oftentimes not in a most useful
way for the client. When processes are named, they become generalized.
While using different perceptual positions is useful at times, it is
useful just to give the client a different perspective, not to live
their lives that way. How will they learn to experience their own lives
"more fully"? Remembering the names of various applications,
techniques, etc. is not the most useful use of what they are capable of
*doing*.
It's like if I were to teach you how to make a chocolate cake, you'd be
able make one excellent chocolate cake. And if someone came to you and
wanted a chocolate cake, you'd be able to make one for them. But as
soon as someone asked you to make them an angel food cake, chances are
you wouldn't know how because you weren't taught that one. But you
could learn that if you want to then go to the "Angel Food Cake
Seminar".
And so, if we teach you the basic ingredients first, how they work,
what effect temperature, humidity, and time have on these ingredients,
and then teach you how to combine them with a few "sample" recipes,
like that chocolate cake, then you'll know how to make not only the
chocolate cake, but also will be in a better position to be able to
make that angel food cake because you understand how the basic
ingredients can work in combination together to make new recipes!
This has been the basic misunderstanding about the applications of NLP.
Many people think it's about therapy, when it is not. So, how can you
learn to enjoy "YOUR LIFE" more fully? By learning first the basic
skills, and then to apply them in those areas of YOUR LIFE where they
are applicable. That is how we prefer to teach it. You like to do
change work with people? Come learn those applications from us. You
want to apply them in business? Come learn those applications from us.
It's easy, it's simple, and it's exciting!
And another note worth mentioning is that I use everything I know to
facilitate change conversationally and with nonverbal additions. I
don't often take the opportunity to give instructions for changing
submodalities, for example, so I must use my own verbal and nonverbal
abilities to effect them. My experience is that this is what most
people appreciate and want to learn to do. We do what we can to help
them to learn this.
So what would YOU do if only YOU could?
John La Valle
©2009 La Valle, all rights reserved in all media
John
La Valle is the President of the Society of NLP. A highly respected
trainer in business and therapeutic environments, John La Valle is
famed for his wit and dynamism in all training environments.
To read John's newsletter for continous inspiration and learning, visit his website
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